While I refrain from being mushy as much as possible, I think I'm going to indulge it a bit with this post--although it's also probably one of my more boring posts.
Today was one of the most incredible days of my life--though I did not for one second anticipate that happening. I'm officially 20 weeks pregnant and today we went for our ultrasound. I was scared out of my mind, with fears of missing limbs--or something else serious being wrong. I basically woke up ready to vomit.
It was weird/creepy at first seeing that little "thing" move in there. The second the tech put that doppler thing on my stomach, the baby jumped. Then she went and measured and monitored every feature. I saw brain hemispheres, kidneys, bladder, and stomach. It's head is where I thought its feet were so this whole time when I've been feeling it, it has been its head and arms. (I'm sure this is boring the crap out of everyone reading this). It was a fiesty thing, moving about, turning back and forth, opening its mouth, lifting its arm in the air (well, in the fluid). The doctor said that this was the kind of ultrasound anybody would hope for. :)
The 3D thing was something I didn't think I'd like, but it was amazing. It became so real. I hated pregnancy so far because I have been terrified of everything going on, my boobs getting bigger, gaining weight, not knowing what's normal, etc. I've had to back down on workouts, spend money on clothes, and really cut back on the negative talk and my hypochondria. Right now, I don't care about any of that because there's a baby in there and this body of mine is charged with taking care of its body. I have stared at the pictures for pretty much the last 10 hours--and every time it's just as beautiful as the last. It's really a miracle, a miracle I didn't understand until now--God knows what I'll feel like when it actually arrives!
We've imagined what it will look like, how it will be, what we will all do together as a family.
I couldn't be more excited about what's going on now and the person with whom I'm sharing this experience with (my husband...who is my #1).
It's a life changer, really--and it's not even here.
I am incredibly blessed and I know it; I am thanking God pretty much every 5 seconds.
I'm too overwhelmed to really write and I've done a terrible job at capturing how I feel. Life is good and I think I smiled while showering.
P.s. we're raising it vegan (a very major decision between my husband and I... that we made quickly and easily)
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Meatheads and pretzels
I had the absolute privilege of being part of Crossfit Inspire's Dragonboat team this year. The day was an ass kicker for those who paddled and a throat burner for those who screamed.
In our first race, we came in second--losing out on a spot in division A (thank God because in that division we would have gotten our asses handed to us). With our time, we safely secured our spot in Division B. Out of 6 divisions, the second one ain't too shabby...considering as our Captain put it "we're just a bunch of meatheads from a gym."
In our second race, which was three godforsaken hours later, we won. Holy shit. I think this ignited a passion in all of us. The day was tiring because we just sat around, socializing, drinking and eating. But we were re-invigorated. We made it to the finals! Whhhhattt?
Finals comes along--we go balls to the wall and WIN. Winning is so awesome. Winning is much better than losing. If I could win everyday I would. We got progressively better throughout the day--and for chunks of time, we were in sync. I think what worked particularly in our favor is that fact that we're used to physically keeping it going when we mentally want to quit. And we are a bunch of competitive sons of bitches.
Anyway, the most memorable part of the whole day? Besides winning...it was getting to spend time with a group of kick ass peeps. I got to spend time with two of my closest girlfriends, bunch of cool friends that I work out with, and more exciting, a bunch of people I used to work out with :( It was great to see friends from Proven. I think I speak for everyone at Inspire when I say that we really miss you guys!!!!
Now the vegan portion of my blog:
I ate soft pretzels yesterday with full knowledge that the company uses whey as a dough conditioner. I just can't say no to a soft pretzel, I really can't. I'd love to say that I'd rather eat than starve, but there were apples, bananas, peanut butter crackers, almonds, etc, I just really wanted that fucking pretzel. Moral of the story: it's tough sometimes being vegan...and I'm not perfect. Luckily, I don't claim to be. But I wanted to be honest. No vegan high horse here. From here, I just move on--and start making my vegan soft pretzels on a regular basis.
<---WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN GOOD???
In our first race, we came in second--losing out on a spot in division A (thank God because in that division we would have gotten our asses handed to us). With our time, we safely secured our spot in Division B. Out of 6 divisions, the second one ain't too shabby...considering as our Captain put it "we're just a bunch of meatheads from a gym."
In our second race, which was three godforsaken hours later, we won. Holy shit. I think this ignited a passion in all of us. The day was tiring because we just sat around, socializing, drinking and eating. But we were re-invigorated. We made it to the finals! Whhhhattt?
Finals comes along--we go balls to the wall and WIN. Winning is so awesome. Winning is much better than losing. If I could win everyday I would. We got progressively better throughout the day--and for chunks of time, we were in sync. I think what worked particularly in our favor is that fact that we're used to physically keeping it going when we mentally want to quit. And we are a bunch of competitive sons of bitches.
Anyway, the most memorable part of the whole day? Besides winning...it was getting to spend time with a group of kick ass peeps. I got to spend time with two of my closest girlfriends, bunch of cool friends that I work out with, and more exciting, a bunch of people I used to work out with :( It was great to see friends from Proven. I think I speak for everyone at Inspire when I say that we really miss you guys!!!!
Now the vegan portion of my blog:
I ate soft pretzels yesterday with full knowledge that the company uses whey as a dough conditioner. I just can't say no to a soft pretzel, I really can't. I'd love to say that I'd rather eat than starve, but there were apples, bananas, peanut butter crackers, almonds, etc, I just really wanted that fucking pretzel. Moral of the story: it's tough sometimes being vegan...and I'm not perfect. Luckily, I don't claim to be. But I wanted to be honest. No vegan high horse here. From here, I just move on--and start making my vegan soft pretzels on a regular basis.
<---WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN GOOD???Monday, August 13, 2012
Rawgust is dead, DEAD I tell you!
Well, Rawgust didn't work out quite so well for me. I'm abandoning shit..er, I mean ship.
The rawcrap that broke the camel's back is included. My wonderful husband made me an anniversary meal to support my rawgust. Take a lookie:
The rawcrap that broke the camel's back is included. My wonderful husband made me an anniversary meal to support my rawgust. Take a lookie:
 |
| Breaded Eggplant with zucchini mix |
 |
| Avocado Soup |
 |
| Roasted Beets with Cashew Cheese |
It looks so pretty doesn't it?
Well, it's VOMIT on a plate. In fact, Jason's stomach hasn't been right since. The only thing slightly cooked was the eggplant. Five points if you guess which tasted the best. The raw sauce was pretty good too.
But Rawgust taught me some things....
1) Dehydrated flaxseed chips are pretty good at regulating that digestive system
2) Nutritional yeast does taste like cheese if you close your eyes
3) Dehydrated buckwheat pizza crusts taste as fucking disgusting as they sound
So long, rawgust. I wasn't quite as committed to you as I should be. After all, I failed you on day 1.
Good luck friends who are still rawgusting.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Rawgust 1, 2012
I'm totally copying off of Optimal Health Mama's blog today. :)
Anyway, I'm going raw (or as raw as possible) for 30 days. That means trying a bunch of new stuff, working my way out of my comfort zone, and seeing what satiety feels like this way. It also means that I can cheat without feeling guilty. If it's not working for me, I'm going to add in what I need.
People have asked me why I'm doing it and to tell you the truth I don't even have a good answer. I doing it mainly because I love being healthy, some of my friends are doing it, and additionally, I need that push to try new things. In that latter regard, day 1 has been a slam dunk.
Breakfast
Vitamix made..
2 small Bananas
2 Tbsp Ground Flaxseed
1 large bunch of spinach
1 large handful of kale
10 strawberries
1/2 cup blueberries
1 scoop of sunwarrior warrior blend protein powder
1/2 cup of chocolate almond milk
Snack
Mindless grazing on a trail mix with nuts, seeds, dates
Lunch
Large Salad with red peppers, sunflower seeds, a few raisins, carrots, and raw cashew italian dressing
Raw sesame yam noodles
a few flaxseed crackers
Snack
Mindless grazing on a trail mix with nuts, seeds, and dates
Dinner
young coconut water with 1 scoop of sunwarrrior protein powder b/c I'm too stuffed to eat anything else.
So if I look over my day, it's pretty high in fat. But also pretty high in awesome. I went to Oasis Living Cuisine, a raw foodie place, and picked up the flaxseed crackers, the cashew creamy italian dressing, and the sesame yam noodles. Amazing. But most of all I'm just proud of myself that I tried this new stuff. Next on my list, their raw avocado key lime pie, and their zucchini pasta. Apparently, what I need in my life is a spiral vegetable peeler. I looked online and the best ones are like $800. WTF. That's a vitamix and a half.
Anyway, for day 2, I'm going to try to cut back on so many darn fats. But I have no idea what to replace with them! Share your raw meal ideas with me!! Pretty, pretty please!!!
Anyway, I'm going raw (or as raw as possible) for 30 days. That means trying a bunch of new stuff, working my way out of my comfort zone, and seeing what satiety feels like this way. It also means that I can cheat without feeling guilty. If it's not working for me, I'm going to add in what I need.
People have asked me why I'm doing it and to tell you the truth I don't even have a good answer. I doing it mainly because I love being healthy, some of my friends are doing it, and additionally, I need that push to try new things. In that latter regard, day 1 has been a slam dunk.
Breakfast
 |
| Yummy in my tummy |
2 small Bananas
2 Tbsp Ground Flaxseed
1 large bunch of spinach
1 large handful of kale
10 strawberries
1/2 cup blueberries
1 scoop of sunwarrior warrior blend protein powder
1/2 cup of chocolate almond milk
Snack
Mindless grazing on a trail mix with nuts, seeds, dates
Lunch
Large Salad with red peppers, sunflower seeds, a few raisins, carrots, and raw cashew italian dressing
 |
| Flaxseed Crackers.. Anyone make their own?? |
a few flaxseed crackers
Snack
Mindless grazing on a trail mix with nuts, seeds, and dates
Dinner
young coconut water with 1 scoop of sunwarrrior protein powder b/c I'm too stuffed to eat anything else.
So if I look over my day, it's pretty high in fat. But also pretty high in awesome. I went to Oasis Living Cuisine, a raw foodie place, and picked up the flaxseed crackers, the cashew creamy italian dressing, and the sesame yam noodles. Amazing. But most of all I'm just proud of myself that I tried this new stuff. Next on my list, their raw avocado key lime pie, and their zucchini pasta. Apparently, what I need in my life is a spiral vegetable peeler. I looked online and the best ones are like $800. WTF. That's a vitamix and a half.
Anyway, for day 2, I'm going to try to cut back on so many darn fats. But I have no idea what to replace with them! Share your raw meal ideas with me!! Pretty, pretty please!!!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Chasing Amy
I haven't blogged in a while. I feel like Holden in Chasing Amy who says he hasn't had anything personal to say. Like Silent Bob, I'll briefly break my silence--but I'll also promise you that what I say won't be mind blowing.
I've been vegan for over 6 months now. I'm alive, I'm healthy, I'm working out and making gains, I'm maintaining a healthy weight, I'm getting enough protein, etc. Now am I ripped? Are my abs lean, am I cut, am I freakin tight? No. Rest assured it has nothing to do with my diet; It's because I don't give two shits about looking like a fitness model. I have neither the time nor the ambition (but applaud those that do).
I think about how 6 months ago naysayers questioned when I would plateau. I plateaued just like everyone else. And like everyone else, I fought through it and came out stronger. Bring it.
Which reminds me: I didn't go vegan for fitness or looks. I went vegan for compassion. Everyday that I don't eat animal products is a commitment that I am making to the earth and to my soul. I'm hoping that my commitment inspires a commitment in others, even just one person, to try to go vegan. If you can open your heart to it, I promise it will be a fulfilling journey.
Told you I didn't have much to say.
I've been vegan for over 6 months now. I'm alive, I'm healthy, I'm working out and making gains, I'm maintaining a healthy weight, I'm getting enough protein, etc. Now am I ripped? Are my abs lean, am I cut, am I freakin tight? No. Rest assured it has nothing to do with my diet; It's because I don't give two shits about looking like a fitness model. I have neither the time nor the ambition (but applaud those that do).
I think about how 6 months ago naysayers questioned when I would plateau. I plateaued just like everyone else. And like everyone else, I fought through it and came out stronger. Bring it.
Which reminds me: I didn't go vegan for fitness or looks. I went vegan for compassion. Everyday that I don't eat animal products is a commitment that I am making to the earth and to my soul. I'm hoping that my commitment inspires a commitment in others, even just one person, to try to go vegan. If you can open your heart to it, I promise it will be a fulfilling journey.
Told you I didn't have much to say.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Part 1: Freak flag
I don't really have much of a bucket list. I've never really been a risk taker.
There has been things that I've wanted to do, but fear or insecurity about what others might say has prevented me from flying my freak flag.
Yesterday, I waved my freak flag today in a very minor way. I put pink and blue streaks in my hair (temporary, of course). I just felt like it. I always wanted to try it out, so I went for it. It was spontaneous, unlike me, and kinda neat. If I would have done this at 17 I don't think it would have mattered to me so much,seems typical for a 17 year old, but at 30, Katy perry'ing it up matters. It means that I don't give a fuck what others say or think about me. Took a long time to get here. That, my friends, is freedom.
Go wave your freak flags, start small, then kick it up a fucking notch.
----------------> See the little bits of blue and pink?!------------------------------>
There has been things that I've wanted to do, but fear or insecurity about what others might say has prevented me from flying my freak flag.
Yesterday, I waved my freak flag today in a very minor way. I put pink and blue streaks in my hair (temporary, of course). I just felt like it. I always wanted to try it out, so I went for it. It was spontaneous, unlike me, and kinda neat. If I would have done this at 17 I don't think it would have mattered to me so much,seems typical for a 17 year old, but at 30, Katy perry'ing it up matters. It means that I don't give a fuck what others say or think about me. Took a long time to get here. That, my friends, is freedom.
Go wave your freak flags, start small, then kick it up a fucking notch.
----------------> See the little bits of blue and pink?!------------------------------>
Friday, June 22, 2012
Cut yourself...
SOME SLACK!
Back to a topic near and dear, stress and anxiety.
Currently, I have many friends, including myself--boys and girls alike--who are stressed and anxious. There's nothing wrong with you; you just need to cut yourself some slack today. In our society, the strive for perfection is damning.
There is no true perfection, so no matter how hard you try, you can't really get to this goal--because the goal will change or not be as fulfilling as you thought.
Granted there are some goals that can be attained, like losing weight, passing that test, finally getting over a certain specific anxiety, but you're allowed to take a really long time to get there. You do want you can and then try to let go. Change doesn't happen overnight, but things overall will work out. I know too many people who suffer setbacks and think that they'll never get better or get "there"--wherever "there" is.
Cut yourself some slack. Seriously.
Quit hyper-focusing on those things you wish to change. Accept whatever your current situation is.
There is a lesson in less than perfect situations. You are wonderful human beings, but while individually unique, the experiences around anxiety are not unique. Millions of people have anxiety--take comfort in knowing that you're not alone.
Above all, believe in yourself. You are not broken. Take the time you need right now to get to that point of acceptance. From there you can move forward. Embrace the "setbacks" (they are not even setbacks, they are part of the journey) and celebrate how far you've made it. Believe in yourself; and when you think you can't, I'll do the believing for you. :)
Currently, I have many friends, including myself--boys and girls alike--who are stressed and anxious. There's nothing wrong with you; you just need to cut yourself some slack today. In our society, the strive for perfection is damning.
There is no true perfection, so no matter how hard you try, you can't really get to this goal--because the goal will change or not be as fulfilling as you thought.
Granted there are some goals that can be attained, like losing weight, passing that test, finally getting over a certain specific anxiety, but you're allowed to take a really long time to get there. You do want you can and then try to let go. Change doesn't happen overnight, but things overall will work out. I know too many people who suffer setbacks and think that they'll never get better or get "there"--wherever "there" is.
Cut yourself some slack. Seriously.
Quit hyper-focusing on those things you wish to change. Accept whatever your current situation is.
There is a lesson in less than perfect situations. You are wonderful human beings, but while individually unique, the experiences around anxiety are not unique. Millions of people have anxiety--take comfort in knowing that you're not alone.
Above all, believe in yourself. You are not broken. Take the time you need right now to get to that point of acceptance. From there you can move forward. Embrace the "setbacks" (they are not even setbacks, they are part of the journey) and celebrate how far you've made it. Believe in yourself; and when you think you can't, I'll do the believing for you. :)
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