Hippie Soap

A dark red rash all over one's arms is super sexy, right?  Grr, my hippie soap gave me a dark itchy rash.  Now while it was only all over my arms is due to the fact that midway through washing, I decided for some reason to switch back over to my olive oil soap.  The odd thing is that the soap was oatmeal based--you know, oatmeal...the thing that they tell you to use on a freakin rash.  Two benadryls later I was passed out, blissfully unaware of my welty arms.  Let's just say thank God I didn't use the hippie soap on all those other bits and pieces of the body.... Afterwards, I tried to use coconut oil as my cure-all, but that didn't really work and yes, against my dogma, I went straight for the chemically laden Aveeno. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

The moral of the story is: when you switch to a new soap, don't scrub those hard to reach places.  Go for the arms, test it out there first, then try again the next day. After all, you really don't want it to look like you've got the herps.

Migraine bonanza

It's been 364 days since my last mindfuck of a migraine. And I'm talking blind in one eye, left arm and left side of face and tongue numb, stroke-like migraine. I debated writing this blog on the near anniversary of my last big one, but I decided not to give in to superstition and even refrain from knocking on wood about this.

My last mindfuck of a migraine was so bad it sent me to the hospital. I pretty much had a panic attack from being blind in one eye for what seemed like an eternity. In reality, it was probably an hour. MRI showed no massive tumor. What I had was a migraine bonanza going off in my head. All those little blood vessels acting like little bitches.

So to what do I owe this pleasant regression in migraines? No clue. And I'm not about to go exploring the reason why. My new healthful mental lifestyle (crossfit, thanks for a better body image) and veganism (inner peace) keeps me pretty satiated. The people I am around positively reek positivity. That's infectious and apparently strong enough to beat the shit out of those blood vessels.

Do I knock on wood or do I accept that on day 365 I could actually get one of those migraine mindfucks? Since knocking on wood is self doubt, I'm going to go with the latter--and I hope you do the same in times when you are anxious, or doubting yourself. Accept what is-and what may be--but don't let it be a little bitch and mess you up. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to do that for a whole 364 days--and then some.

Variety is the spice of fights

And the biggest fight of all is peanut butter v. almond butter....

Which tastes better?  Well, veggiesluts, pale-hoes, regardless of where you are in your lifestyle choices, I've come to the conclusion that almond butter wins.

Almond butter won in about round 8. At first it wasn't so yummy. I was historically obsessed with natural peanut butter. I could go through a jar of that shit in half a week.  Then yesterday, I ate a bit of peanut butter and bleeeeckkkk....

I was turned on to almond butter by my primal buddies.  Their reasoning for eating almond butter is because it's un-processed and paleos don't consume legumes due to the fact that in their natural state they aren't edible. Totally get it, makes sense--totally don't even give a fuck what anybody's reasoning is because almond butter is so magnificently yummy. In fact, I personally believe everyone should be scarfing this down until they shit almond meal. Almond butter is superior in taste.  Why have I not been eating this sooner?!

Of course, I am totally breaking all the rules since my almond butter isn't raw; it's dry roasted unblanched almonds by Woodstock. It's unsalted and full of pieces of heaven. A bit crunchy, a bit smokey. I could write a freakin' sonnet about it.  It's yummy on a pear, it's the perfect addition to my morning green-protein smoothie, it's best in 3 tbsp being shoveled down my throat.

Here are some other health benefits of almond butter
1) Chock full of monosaturated fats, which reduces cholesterol, and helps protect your heart <3
2) Lowers blood pressure. If  #1 happens, # 2 tends to happen. Additionally, almond butter has minerals calcium, magnesium, and potassium which work as a unit to maintain healthy blood pressure
3) Helps control blood sugar levels
4) Has lots of antioxidants...vitamin E and flavanoids
5) Helps with weight control...people who consume nuts are less likely to be overweight than those who don't.
...So studies have shown...although with my blissful over-consumption, I'm bound to pack it on.

The cult.

I take back my last blog. That mega millions jackpot would have been pretty freakin sweet in my hands. Damn it.  All that rambling bullshit was ...bullshit.

I'd like to say hello to a new frenemy Lulu,  (lemon to be exact).  With lulu's prices you'd think I won the mega millions.  Yep, what a fuckin poser I am-- swearing I would never forsake target and (when I splurge) underarmour, maybe a lil nike, I blame someone (ahem, SARAH) for introducing me to the fuckin greatest workout tank top in the world: the "chase me" tank.  I dare you, I double dare you, to try this tank on and not like it. And bonus, the little cinching that you can do...omg, can we say "where'd ya go, fat rolls?!" And the little fat rolls cry, "wee wee wee, mama we hit the road" (until you un-cinch, then they're back with a furious vengeance.)

The lululemon store is positively evil. It's adorable, well organized, and they have all these workout headbands that are overpriced 100%, yet at the checkout I had to enforce a great deal of restraint too not buy one.  Even the bag they give you is reusable and motivational. F u lululemon and your cute tactics.

Ugh, I'm assuming that the kool-aid flavor I'm about to consume is lemon, correct?