There's a lot of meat eating songs out there (not really--but I gotta sell my point) but there definitely aren't too many about veganism, so I wrote a song for all those nice little vegan kids.
Put away your mayonnaise
It's time to spread the vegan craze
Vegan craze is --everything you're not
We're a pain in the ass at parties
and won't eat aaaanything you got
When you feel like the only kid in town
with a toe-furkey
here's a list of people who are vegan
just like you and meeeeeeee:
Ellen D. eats coconut ice cream
before she has to dash
Alec Baldwin gets high off raw vegan cacao nibs
in his marijuana stash
Guess who drinks kale smoothies at the local organic juice bar?
Moby, Steve-O, and Ben's Afflecks little bro...and other weirdos near and far
Zooey Deschanel almost sings vegan, but Sinead O'Connor just may beat her
put them together in a sing-off, what a quirky adorkable (and f'd up cause of Sinead) singing plant eater.
You don't need to buy a burger or hot dog with all your bills
Cause you can rob a Beatle, eat a salad, and go dancing with Heather Mills
Put away your mayonnaise
Alicia Silverstone's mock egg salad will amazeWeird ass Tom Cruise-- not our fault he's lame!
But guess who is veeg... Mike Tyson! ( but, um, your ears are fair game) eek
We got fit Russell Simmons and Portia Di Rossi, well she's not flabby
Mayim Bialik's vegan--Blossom, you ain't too shabby!
Some people think that david hassellhoff eats faux german meat dinners
Well, he doesn't, but guess who does: two american idol past winners (carrie and ruben)
So few vegans are in show biz
Al Pacino isn't but I heard Al Yankovic is (he's addicted to spuds)
Tell your friend Susan Mays, it's time you celebrate the vegan craze
I hope I get an expensive ass vitamix-aze, on this lovely, lovely vegan craze.
So eat your faux pork sandwich with vegan-naise, and shit on the toilet more than thrice a days
If you really, really wanna-aze, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
vegan craze!
Happy vegan crazy everyone!
Oh no you di-n't! Nice work :)
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