It's saturday night. I'm dehydrating bananas. Who am I?
Let's backtrack. My husband has me watching episode after episode of doomsday preppers. He finds their ingenuity impressive and comincal. I find it all ...a ..little...bit...creepy. Creepy enough that now I feel like I'm missing the mark. I can't tell you when doomsday is, but I sure as hell can tell you if there was a serious global/north american issue, I'd be f'd. Not that I'm worried about it, but I can't help but think that either a) these people are fucking nuts or b) dammit they are smart and I wish I was part of their doomsday co-op.
From doomsday preppers, I've learned that I need a shitton of bullets to kill everyone trying to take over my foodstuffs. I've learned that a EMP can wipe out all electronics and that for longer than I'd like I'd be unable to access facebook. I've learned that these people store enough food to last them a year or longer. Have you ever looked in our refrigerator? We're so cheap we only buy food for exactly one week. Our pantry is pathetic, our canned good stash is small and probably outdated, I can't rebuild my computer and I sure as hell can't shoot a gun without closing my eyes. We are screwed in this household.
I officially bought two gallons of water today at the grocery store. And a little extra cat food. And a few cans of vegetarian baked beans. I thought I'd play it safe. Maybe we won't see doomsday, but there may be a time when our water filter breaks and we all know I can't do tap water.
No ammo yet, but if you fuckers are coming after doomsday, I promise you that the two cans of baked beans..well, I'm eating them the second an EMP hits, I'm drinking my two gallons of water, and I'm loading my gun. I'd suggest staying away because chances are with my aim I won't kill you, but I'd probably shoot off your pinky toe or nads. But that won't happen, because if I keep watching the show, I'll probably fence my whole house in with barbed wire and have look-out stations.
What about you? Did doomsday preppers freak you out?
Ding! My doomsday banana chip dessert is done-zo!
Wow, no I was not weirded out. But I did have some nostalgia going on. My Grandmother made everything from scratch and jarred what she could. My father was a 26 year Army Vet who always had his bag and gear ready. These things did not dominate our lives but were interwoven with everything we did. It was just the norm for us. I could always count on food from my Mama and the level of readiness my Father possessed. I can honestly say he never freaked out while around me or my brothers and seemed to be able to know just what to do in most situations. What my Grandmother and Father displayed during those times is no different than what I feel these people are trying to do now. Self reliance, preparedness and a plan for what we all hope will never happen.
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